Diary Of Sam
by LittleFreakyO.o
Summary: when Danny goes over Sam's house one day, she finds his diary. against his better judgement, he takes it. what secrets will he find? songifc :3


_**:3**_

_**Hey! Dani here! :3**_

_**Has anyone heard of the band Breaking Benjamin?**_

_**I LOVE THEM! :3 like, they're my heart and soul. They're music's pretty epic, and if you love rock/punk stuff then you'd love them! Just listen to them for me? Kthnksbye.**_

_**ANYWAY..**_

_**My story. A songfic, as I seem to do a lot of. I will be writing a LOT of songfics from songs by Breaking Benjamin. Just saying. Anyway, this one is the start, and it's **_**Diary of Jane **_**by Breaking Benjamin. One of their more well known songs, but still good. :3**_

_**Now that I've got that over and done with..**_

_**SUMMARY: Danny is over at Sam's one day when he finds her journal. He knows it's wrong to read his best friends diary, but he just peeks at one page. After he reads the first, he wants to read more and more. So he steals the diary. But just how long is it before Sam notices it's gone?**_

_**Disclaimer. Yeah. I don't own Danny. Or Sam. Or Diary of Jane. Or Breaking Benjamin. If I did I would be this - happy. (p.s it's a never ending line :3)**_

_**Also, don't go all -.- at me coz I change the lyrics a bit or left a bit out. I only left out bits f the chorus, coz I hate repeating myself. Just change the words "Sam" in the story to "Jane" and you're all good. :3**_

**_oh, p.s. with the diary entries, there may be heaps of spelling mistakes. but thats coz she's little and she's really angry in the other. forwarning you. :D enjoy! :3_**

"SAMANTHA!" I heard Sam's mum yell out to her. She groaned at her mother calling her Samantha instead of Sam, but she got off the bed and poked her head out the door.

"WHAT?" she yelled back.

"Come here please!" she called back, and Sam turned around and looked at me sheepishly.

"Do you mind?" she said to me.

"No, go ahead." I said a bit flabbergasted, I didn't really think it would matter if I wanted her to stay or not. She ran quickly out of her room, calling a quick "I'll be right back" behind her. I could hear her and her mum talking downstairs. I'm 99% sure Sam was in trouble for something or other.

I decided to lie down on her bed, seeing as it was the most comfortable thing in her room and he'd had next to no sleep last night, due to the many ghosts that all decided that last night was the night they'd decide to take over the world.

Needles to say, I didn't get much sleep last night.

However, as I lay here, I'm starting to realise what I've been trying to deny to myself ever since I met Sam.

I had been denying myself this very second how much I wish she was in this bed with me. I was denying to myself how good that would be.

I had been denying my undying love for her.

_If I had to  
I would put myself right beside you_

But I knew she would never feel the same way. She had never shown me any signs that she thought of me as anything more than a friend. Even though Tucker insisted that she held some feelings, I knew she didn't. And if she did, they would be that of she thinks of him like a brother, not a lover.

_So let me ask  
would you like that?  
Would you like that?  
_

I leant my head against the pillow while letting out a depressive sigh. My head hit something hard inside the pillow. I turned around and pushed my hand into the pillowcase, until I came in contact with something hard. It felt like a book.

I grabbed it, and when I pulled it out of the pillowcase, I realised it was a book. I remember Sam's mum buying it for her when she was tiny. It was a diary. I thought Sam had thrown it out though.

It wasn't too bad, to read her diary, was it? I mean, we were just friends right? She reads all my texts, they're basically the same thing, right?

My curiosity got the better of me, and I opened the first page.

It was written in scribble, or at least a 5 year old trying to write.

Dear diary,

Hey! It's Sammie! You belong to me! I can't wait to write in you all the times! :) today's my 5th birthday, I gots so many pwesents!1 i gots you, and a dolly, and a teddy! Mummy and daddy bought me lots of pwesents, more than anybody's else! They installed a pwaystation free in my room, and Danny and tucker are so jealous!

Tucker gave me a big jar of lollies, then gave me a smaller one for a go on my pwaystation :)

Danny gave me a kiss on my cheek today when no one was watching. He's so cute.

Hey diary, did you know me and Danny are getting married when we're older? Yep! Then we'll be bestest friends for evers!

Anyways, tucker and Danny are coming over soon, so i gots to goes. BYES! :3

Sammie.

Wow. Sam used to be so.. Different. And bubbly. Not that she isn't any better now, frankly I like her better this way – she's less like the other girls, all they care about is how they look – but still. I had totally forgotten she was like that.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and instead of shoving the diary back inside the pillow, I shoved it into my back pocket, making my pants bulge oddly. I lied back down on the bed as she walked in.

"Sorry about that." She said. "Where were we?"

I had completely forgotten what we were doing before she left.

"I can't remember." I said, then looked at the time. It was already past 6. I had to get home.

"I gotta go." I said and got up. My pants felt slightly heavier with the weight of the diary, and I pulled my pants up higher, afraid that they would fall down and the diary would fall out.

I turned ghost as soon as I had shut the door then flew home as fast as I could. I couldn't be bothered with listening to mum dad and Jazz, so I just flew into my room and turned human.

I lied down on my bed and pulled out Sam's diary.

I read the next entry, written 3 months later.

Dear diary,

Hey! Sorry for not writing, I've been SUPER busy. Me and Danny and tucker have been soo busy, we just started kindergarden together! Its so much fun! We get a nap time, and we get to meet all these other peoples, and we geet to play games and make stuffs and read books wif pweetty pictures, and i brought one home, and mummy said it was really pweetty! She ven put it on the fwidge! I can see it right now as i'm witing thish.

Gwess what diawy! Me and Danny are getting en-en-engwaged! Now its fer swre we're gunna gets mawwied!

Ohnoes, mummy wants me to goes sos i cans has dinner. Byes!

Sammie :3

I remembered all of that, they were some of the best days of our lives, and everything was so innocent.

I decided to flip until I was near the middle of the book. And as soon as I read the entry, I wish I hadn't.

Dear diary.

Today was horrible. I had to watch all day as Danny goggled over Paulina. I don't get what everyone thinks she's so good. She's not even 's not smart or funny or sweet or kind. She's awful and mean and i'm 100% jealous of her.

I can't stand how Danny stares at her all the time. he looks at her the way he should look at me.

Why, diary? Why does he not see that I'm plainly head over heels in love with him? Why can't he love me like I love him? Someone tell me..

But I know why. Because I'm not Paulina. And I never will be. Maybe I should move on. But who to? There's no one good at my school, or in the whole town to be honest. And I seem to have no faith in men anymore. All they look for is chicks like Paulina.

So give up.

I don't mind saying that this love will be my last time. Coz I'm so sick of this.

Sam.

I looked up from the diary entry. I had read it for at least the 10th time, always feeling a stab in my heart whenever she said that she was jealous of Paulina. She was so much better. And that she'd never love again? I'd have to change her mind about that.

_And I don't mind  
if you say this love is the last time_

What the heck had I been thinking? Now that she had pointed it out, I noticed all these tiny little signs that meant that she had indeed shown a lot of interest. As more than friends.

This would explain why they all called me clueless.

Now I felt really bad. I had to change her mind, before I lost her completely.

But if she had so much interest, why hadn't she shown more? Why hadn't she told me?

The same reason I hadn't told her?

_So now I'll ask  
do you like that.  
Do you like that?_

No!

Dear diary,

I know I should tell him. I know it is wrong to blame him for stuff he doesn't realise he's doing. But I just can help it. Is he really that clueless? Tucker always says all the time that he likes me back, but I know Tucker. He's just saying it to mess with my head. One day I will tell him.

Because I know that if I don't, something's gunna break. And it won't be my heart.

Sam.

The only thing that had been getting in the way was ourselves. The fact that we had both wanted to stay friends, and the idea that the other would hate each other for thinking of the other like that. She was right.

_Something's getting in the way.  
Something's just about to break.  
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.  
_

What do I do though?

_So tell me how it should be._

_*LINE BREAK*_

SAM POV

After Danny left, I decided that I needed to get some shit off my chest.

How blind is that guy? I mean, really?

How difficult was it to see that I was in love with him? I sat down on my bed and reached inside my pillow.

So you can expect my surprise when it wasn't there.

"WHERE'S MY DIARY?" I screeched.

"What?" mum called out from downstairs.

I ran downstairs, tearing through everything, flinging everything that wasn't my diary everywhere.

"Have you seen my diary?" I called out to her,, slightly out of breath.

"No I haven't sweetie. I didn't even know you had one."

"The one you got me when I was younger?"

"Oh! I didn't even know you still had it."

"Yeah. Well, it's gone, and I need it back." I said in a hurry. "Just imagine what would happen if Tucker or Danny found it and read.."

I stopped, absolutely shocked beyond belief. Danny... he wouldn't take it. Would he?

But it made sense. Last time I had seen it was before Danny had come over. So he must have taken it.

But what would he want with it?

_Try to find out what makes you tick.  
_

_DANNY POV_

As I read more and more of Sam's entries, I realised just how much she had hidden from me.

And I thought I had it bad. I thought I had been lovesick.

_As I lie down  
sore and sick._

Dear diary,

It's my 16th birthday. We were in PE, and we had to play soccer. Tucker wasn't here today, so it was just me and Danny. I swear my teacher wants to kill me. Fortunately he decided that in pity of us, he stuck me and Danny on a team together.

We were the last people picked, of course. But I didn't care, coz I was with Danny. He was so funny, coz he went to kick the ball, but he tripped and fell. But, what was even funnier was that everyone stopped to laugh at Danny, so no one but me noticed the ball rolling towards the line, and only as I burst out laughing and as the teacher blew the whistle to say that a score was made. Danny ran around pulling his shirt above his head. He was so embarrassing, but I can't lie. I did enjoy it. A little bit.

Sam.

_Do you like that?  
Do you like that?  
_

Hmm. I ought to trip and fall, scoring goals and lift my shirt up more often. I love how she said that she liked that. It gave my self esteem a bit of a boost.

Dear diary.

I don't know what to do! Danny kissed me today. It was a fake-out make-out, but it was still there. I wish he had kissed me for longer. I really hate Tucker though. I wish he'd stop making those dares. It's getting rather annoying.

But you know what was worse? As soon as we were finished, Valerie came up to us, oblivious to what happened, and took Danny away! It was like I didn't even matter!

Like... I was nothing at all to him.

I love him. I hate her.

But, I don't mind, to be honest. If he's happy, I'm happy.

Sam.

_There's a fine line between love and hate.  
And I don't mind._

I hate how jealousy is going to kill us.

But deep down, I couldn't stop myself from secretly liking that she was jealous of Valerie. Even though she was so much better than Valerie. And didn't Valerie know it.

_Just let me say that  
I like that  
I like that  
_

Just now, I started to notice that some of the pages had been burnt, and others had random words burnt out of them. It was really difficult to read them, but there weren't many pages, and there were mainly about her family. I didn't read those. I wasn't that space invasive.

_As I burn another page,  
As I look the other way.  
I still try to find my place in the diary of Sam  
so tell me how it should be.  
_

"Danny?" mum said as she poked her head through the door.

"Yeah?" She held out the phone.

"Phone. For you." She said and handed it to me. _Sam_ she mouthed.

I took the phone, and my hand started to shake.

"Hello?"

"Danny?" Sam said

"Yeah, it's me."

"Did you see my diary by any chance? When you came over?"

I gulped.

"Naah, I didn't, sorry. I didn't even know you had a diary. Sorry."

"Oh, that's ok then. Maybe tucker took it as some sick joke. Don't worry about it. See you tomorrow." She said then the line went dead.

I quickly turned ghost and picked up the diary. I knew that I had to return it, as soon as possible, knowing that she knew it was gone.

_Desperate, I will crawl_

I flew to her house and turned intangible and flew through the window. I landed on the bed, and reached up and placed the diary under the bed. I knew that if she had found it inside the pillow, she would have been instantly suspicious.

Still intangible, I sat on her bed. She was still logged I on her computer, but she wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Then I heard it. The shower running.

_Waiting for so long  
No love, there is no love.  
_

I knew it was wrong. I knew shouldn't've done it. But I did. And I will never, ever regret it.

She was amazing. I could have stood there and watched her for hours.

But, before I was satisfied, the shower turned off and she stepped out. She looked right at me, and I flew away as fast as I could. I looked down at my hands, and I was so glad that they were still intangible. I could feel them shaking.

***NEXT DAY :3***

I walked into school with Tucker, and we went up to our lockers. Sam was already there. Memories from last night flooded my mind and I blushed involuntarily. She just gave me a weird look then continued whatever she was saying.

"Oh, guess what Danny." She said to me suddenly.

"Yeah?" I said quickly.

"I found my diary. Turns out it was under my bed. I guess I never lost it. Humph." She said. I shrugged.

A blue shiver came out of my mouth, and I went under the table and changed into phantom. However, I did get a tiny sneak peak at Sam's legs. She has very lovely legs.

"We'll cover for you." She said and smiled.

"Thanks." I said and went to fly off, but then I stopped and went next to Sam.

"This is for if I don't come back." I said and pressed my lips against hers.

"Please come back." She said lightly.

"I love you." I said and smiled.

"I love you too." She said giddily as I flew off to save another unsuspecting citizen.

_Die for anyone  
what have I become?  
_


End file.
